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1. The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
2. Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
3. And then I drew a line across his forehead with his own cum and whispered "simba"
4. How do I delete my drunk texts so sober me doesn't get mad?
5. Hey! Sorry I missed your text yesterday. Do you still need your EpiPen?
6. The only thought that went through my head was that it was going to be a total disaster. So of course I said yes.
7. Text her/misfire!
((Overflow Post))
2. Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
3. And then I drew a line across his forehead with his own cum and whispered "simba"
4. How do I delete my drunk texts so sober me doesn't get mad?
5. Hey! Sorry I missed your text yesterday. Do you still need your EpiPen?
6. The only thought that went through my head was that it was going to be a total disaster. So of course I said yes.
7. Text her/misfire!
((Overflow Post))
Current Mood: 
drunk
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